According to Dr. Emma Seppala in the current issue of Spirituality and Health [July/august 2017],
"High achieving students (and high achievers generally) buy into the idea that 'I am what I do.'
They think their value stems first and foremost from their productivity...You are a worthwhile human being if and only if you are successful, powerful, or wealthy or have reached a certain status."
With identity and productivity so intertwined, Dr. Seppala see the result leading to a lifelong quest to be more and more successful -- but never bringing deep fulfillment.
After challenging her class about the idea of "success," she asked them to identify the qualities of the most wonderful person they knew. Loving, caring, and present were the adjectives they described.
She then asked: "Isn't it the wonderful people, the generous, kind, and compassionate ones...who carry us through life? They are there when we have fallen, they love us when we don't love ourselves, they care when no one else does...It's the wonderful people who are the most successful and impactful influences on all our lives, and we at blessed to encounter them."
A friend of mine once said that he felt he wasn't successful in life. He had a huge home worth half a million, 3 cars including a vintage convertible, many friends, including wealthy and powerful ones. In fact, I wondered why he would befriend the likes of me. I had a small condo, a cheap Toyota and lower middle class friends. I told him that it was strange for him to say that because I felt very successful in life having what I had. Maybe that's why he befriended me, I don't know. Also his parents were wealthy and educated and expected him to carry on that "tradition." My parents were neither. I think one's success in life correlates to expectations and values.
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